Stuff For Sale

A couple of weeks ago I put one of my bikes up for sale on craigslist. One of the replies was sort of spam-like, and I took appropriate actions as seen below…
From: cgault*******

hey how bout a trade for your bike id give you a few different items

jackets to choose from that i sell on ebay and id be willing to give you a few for your bike i have jackets like north face, nike, adidas, buffalo, columbia, viking if your interested in taking a look plus i have a nice 14k rope chain and a womens saphire gold 10k ring with diamonds in it, or i could give you one or two large beautiful violet parkhurst wood cherry and black colored framed paintings valued @ $1500 each, matt sundin autographed 8×10 picture with canucks, womens coach purse brand over 400 american paid, portable dvd player, like new crib, hoover carpet cleaner, about 60 assorted comics from the late 70- 80s in mint shape with plastic covers on them, i got nike roller blades and another good pair size 11 i believe, electric paint sprayer, makita drill and makita flash light with one battery,charger and case and another electric drill and i probably got some more stuff but let me know if you wanna see pics of anything let me know thnx

From: Dan Beatle
Subject: Re: RMB Rocky Mountain ETSX 30 – $1100 (east van)
To: cgault******
Date: Saturday, May 29, 2010, 7:34 PM

Hi Courtenay,
Thanks for the email about the rmb etsx-30. As luck would have it, I am interested in some of the goods you mentioned. In particular I would like to know more about the crib. I’ve been thinking a lot about having a child and maybe this is what I need to push me over the edge. I guess I’m still a bit worried about being a father though. Are you a mom Courtenay? I guess so, otherwise why would you have a brand new crib he he. Silly me! See, that’s why I think I would be such a good dad, I’m always fooling around and making little jokes and games. Last weekend I played a game with some neighbourhood kids. I saw them playing in the park, so I dressed up like Superman and chased them around. I think it was a lot of fun and the kids were running and screaming all over the place. My costume was a bit strange I must admit, because I didn’t really have a superman outfit. Instead, I put on some blue tights and a red traffic cone, and just to make it a bit more realistic I painted my face green like I had been attacked with kryptonite. It was a blast and I hope to do it again sometime. I just moved into the neighbourhood and this is the first time I had seen any kids. I guess some of them must have been pretty tired because they were crying a lot by the time I was finished with the game.

I know that we’ve only known each other for a very short time, but do you think I’d be a good father? Oops, I just realized that I assumed that you are a mom. Maybe you’re actually a dad! I remember that I used to play hockey with a guy named Courtenay. He played center and had a pretty wicked shot. I can’t remember if he was a dad though… What position do you play? Anyways, I think the biggest hurdle to me being a dad is that I don’t have a crib. Once I get one, that will make me really ready. Then all I’ll have to do is go out and find a girlfriend. I’m hoping that she’ll be nice and also enjoy playing Superman games with kids, because what’s the point in life if you can’t play games?

Darn, I just realized that I made another assumption. Maybe your name is Courtenay but you’re not a dad because you’re gay. I just want you to know that I fully support gay couples adopting kids. I also support gay couples and artificial insemination (maybe you’re gay but a female, in which case I was closer the first time).

In any event, I’d like to see a picture of the crib. Perhaps we can meet and talk about kids, cycling and good kids games? I’m free usually on Tuesdays, but not always. If I’m not free on Tuesday, then the following Friday will probably work and that’s better in case we want to meet for drinks instead of coffee. Sometimes I get soooo sick of coffee, you know?



Date: Sat, 29 May 2010 20:14:10 -0700
From: cgault******
Subject: Re: RMB Rocky Mountain ETSX 30 – $1100 (east van)
To: dogo****

im a guy and that is sure the weirdest replies i have ever had but anyways here is a pic of the crib and for jackets what do you like to see?

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