Biggest wimps in the world

What is it about professional soccer that turns grown men into some type of man-child? One minute they are showcasing worldclass speed, agility and endurance and the next minute they’re flopping on the ground as if they’ve been kicked in the pagina.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m not talking about when someone gets a cleat sunk into their ankle or shin because we all know how much that can freakin’ hurt. I’m talking about incidents like I just saw today on tv. Some guy got hit in the head by a bic lighter and he’s floundering on the ground like a someone just hit him with a ball pein hammer a la Billy Crystal. Seriously, how much pain can a 15g lighter inflict? Or take the guy that Luis Figo headbutted at the World Cup. Most people I know that get head butted don’t crumble at the knees. Typically they clench a fist and thrust said fist into the teeth of said head butter. Shit, just look at me. I’m a fairly decent example of a wimp and I tend to do everything that I can to avoid pain. The time that a larger, more mongaloid male sucker punched me I didn’t fall to the ground. Hell no, I did what any self-respecting wimp does. I ran to the nearest police officer and complained.